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The Kinderhooker’s Meme Interpretation of the Columbia County Fair

Posted on Fri,Sep 2, 2022Wed,Sep 7, 2022 by Trixie Starr

By TheKinderhookers

Did you know that one of the five top regrets of the dying is not going to the Columbia County Fair enough? It’s true, just check this meme I made!

Fun fact: the author of the book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying found my meme and gave me a smiley face so basically I’m famous now.

The Columbia County Fair has been around for 181 years! That’s older than your dad and your dad is cool so this must be, like, really cool (transitive property, look it up).

There’s animals and rides and animal rides and games and funnel cake and fried oreos and all sorts of entertainment. Some people don’t think it’s very classy – see this meme from my friend and colleague The Hudson Wail:

I don’t know about the Dutchess County Fair because I have never left Columbia County in my life. Does Dutchess County even exist? If so, have they considered dissolving and being absorbed into Columbia County? Just an idea.

Anyway, when going to the Columbia County Fair it’s important to dress well:

You never know who you’re going to meet! You might get your next job from a stranger there who says, “Hey, mind holding down the fort at this booth” and then they never come back and that’s your life now!

Or you might meet your next one night stand (I recommend turning off the lights if that happens as the fair has the highest density of people with little to no teeth anywhere in the Tri-state region).

Okay let’s jump to the highlight of the fair: the Demolition Derby.

This is the closest thing we have to gladiator fights and they are amazing. Listen all you fancy New Yorkers who think you’re too good for cars bashing into each other for fun and prizes: we see you with your “opera recitals” and “cinema shows.” You think that’s entertainment? Your brain will explode when you see this. I’m not even doing it justice.

Another big draw is the pig races:

Last year I lost my very old house gambling on these races but boy did I have fun!

Then there’s the rides.

Are they safe? No! Are they fun? Sort of!

What else? Oh YEAH! We have our very own Trixie Starr judging this year’s cookie contest and boy are the contestants excited for that!

I just checked my notes. I only had to mention that once in order to get paid for writing this so thankfully that’s over. I get paid in the burnt cookies Trixie normally throws away before the farmers market on Saturdays.

Also we have big celebrity guests! Do you love the band Journey? Well don’t stop believing that you’re going to someday get to see that band but for now we have their former lead vocalist singing for you!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m there for all of this. I love the fair dearly:

From the janky rides to the rigged carnival games to the food that makes me balloon up three sizes (right in time for winter) but also the niche stuff like the Antique Tractor Pull.

But soon when it’s done? I’m devastated. There’s nothing left to do in this county until next summer. Oh well.

2 thoughts on “The Kinderhooker’s Meme Interpretation of the Columbia County Fair”

  1. Pingback: Columbia County Fair Weekend
  2. Pingback: Best 21 County Fair Meme - BMR

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January

February 2023

March
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29
30
31
1
2
3
4
Events for 29th January
12:00 pm - 6:00 pm

Janene Gentile: “Big Bang 2023”

510 Warren Street
1:00 pm - 5:00 pm

Size Matters Group Show

Circle 46 Gallery
7:00 pm - 8:30 pm

Séamus Maynard: Guitar Poems

Lightforms
Events for 30th January
6:15 pm - 7:15 pm

Virtual Tech Labs

Virtual
Events for 1st February
No Events
Events for 2nd February
10:00 am - 5:00 pm

Operation Unite Photo Exhibit

Hudson Area Library
11:00 am - 5:00 pm

Surpassing Structure: Mike Childs & James Isherwood

Susan Eley Fine Art Gallery
3:00 pm - 4:00 pm

Close Readings in a Virtual Space: Jennifer Bartlett

Virtual
3:00 pm - 4:00 pm

FREE POETRY WORKSHOP—Close Readings in a Virtual Space: with Jennifer Bartlett

Virtual
Events for 3rd February
10:00 am - 5:00 pm

Operation Unite Photo Exhibit

Hudson Area Library
11:00 am - 5:00 pm

Surpassing Structure: Mike Childs & James Isherwood

Susan Eley Fine Art Gallery
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

Kate Knapp: Recent Work

510 Warren Street
7:30 pm - 9:30 pm

INVITATION TO A MARCH

The Ghent Playhouse
Events for 4th February
10:00 am - 1:00 pm

Hudson Farmers’ Market Winter-Spring Market

Elk's Lodge
10:00 am - 5:00 pm

Operation Unite Photo Exhibit

Hudson Area Library
11:00 am - 5:00 pm

Surpassing Structure: Mike Childs & James Isherwood

Susan Eley Fine Art Gallery
12:00 pm - 2:00 pm

Bring Your Child to The Library Day

Claverack Free Library
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

Kate Knapp: Recent Work

510 Warren Street
4:00 pm - 6:00 pm

“HUDSON, AMERICA” A DOCUMENTARY PROFILING SIX BANGLADESHI IMMIGRANTS

Hudson Hall
7:30 pm - 9:30 pm

INVITATION TO A MARCH

The Ghent Playhouse
8:00 pm - 11:00 pm

GREENE GODDESSES A wild night of original music by two of Greene County’s infamous performers and songwriters, LEX GREY & RYDER COOLEY

Avalon Lounge
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
Events for 5th February
11:00 am - 5:00 pm

Surpassing Structure: Mike Childs & James Isherwood

Susan Eley Fine Art Gallery
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

Kate Knapp: Recent Work

510 Warren Street
2:00 pm - 4:00 pm

INVITATION TO A MARCH

The Ghent Playhouse
7:00 pm - 8:30 pm

Séamus Maynard: Guitar Poems

Lightforms
Events for 6th February
10:00 am - 5:00 pm

Operation Unite Photo Exhibit

Hudson Area Library
6:00 pm - 7:00 pm

Mens Yoga

Roots Holistic Wellness
7:30 pm - 9:30 pm

Game Night at Bar Bene

Bar Bene
Events for 7th February
10:00 am - 5:00 pm

Operation Unite Photo Exhibit

Hudson Area Library
5:00 pm - 7:00 pm

Adult Spanish Classes

Virtual
Events for 8th February
10:00 am - 5:00 pm

Operation Unite Photo Exhibit

Hudson Area Library
7:00 pm - 10:00 pm

this body is so impermanent…

Events for 9th February
10:00 am - 5:00 pm

Operation Unite Photo Exhibit

Hudson Area Library
11:00 am - 5:00 pm

Surpassing Structure: Mike Childs & James Isherwood

Susan Eley Fine Art Gallery
4:00 pm - 5:00 pm

Winter Storytime: Movement & Music

Hudson Area Library
7:00 pm - 10:00 pm

this body is so impermanent…

Events for 10th February
10:00 am - 5:00 pm

Operation Unite Photo Exhibit

Hudson Area Library
11:00 am - 5:00 pm

Surpassing Structure: Mike Childs & James Isherwood

Susan Eley Fine Art Gallery
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

Kate Knapp: Recent Work

510 Warren Street
7:00 pm - 10:00 pm

this body is so impermanent…

7:00 pm - 8:30 pm

This Ukrainian American Life – a concert/cabaret fundraiser for Razom for Ukraine

Hudson Hall
7:30 pm - 9:30 pm

INVITATION TO A MARCH

The Ghent Playhouse
Events for 11th February
10:00 am - 1:00 pm

Hudson Farmers’ Market Winter-Spring Market

Elk's Lodge
10:00 am - 5:00 pm

Operation Unite Photo Exhibit

Hudson Area Library
11:00 am - 5:00 pm

Surpassing Structure: Mike Childs & James Isherwood

Susan Eley Fine Art Gallery
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

Kate Knapp: Recent Work

510 Warren Street
1:00 pm

Local History Talk: The History Of Chocolate In The Hudson Valley

Hudson Area Library
1:30 pm - 3:00 pm

Winter Hike/Snowshoe

Hand Hollow Conservation Area
2:00 pm - 5:00 pm

this body is so impermanent…

5:00 pm - 8:00 pm

Opening Reception for “Elements of a View” by Zach Neven

D'Arcy Simpson Artworks
7:00 pm - 9:30 pm

Berlioz’s Symphonie Fantastique

Fisher Center at Bard
7:30 pm - 9:30 pm

INVITATION TO A MARCH

The Ghent Playhouse
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
Events for 12th February
11:00 am - 5:00 pm

Surpassing Structure: Mike Childs & James Isherwood

Susan Eley Fine Art Gallery
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

D’Arcy Simpson Art Works Presents: Elements of a View by Zach Neven

D'Arcy Simpson Artworks
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

Kate Knapp: Recent Work

510 Warren Street
2:00 pm - 4:00 pm

Love is Love: LGBTQIA+ Youth Dance Party!

Hudson Area Library
2:00 pm - 4:30 pm

Berlioz’s Symphonie Fantastique

Fisher Center at Bard
2:00 pm - 5:00 pm

this body is so impermanent…

2:00 pm - 4:00 pm

INVITATION TO A MARCH

The Ghent Playhouse
Events for 13th February
10:00 am - 5:00 pm

Operation Unite Photo Exhibit

Hudson Area Library
6:00 pm - 7:00 pm

Mens Yoga

Roots Holistic Wellness
6:15 pm - 7:15 pm

Virtual Tech Labs

Virtual
6:15 pm - 7:15 pm

Virtual Tech Labs

Virtual
7:30 pm - 9:30 pm

Game Night at Bar Bene

Bar Bene
Events for 14th February
10:00 am - 5:00 pm

Operation Unite Photo Exhibit

Hudson Area Library
5:00 pm - 7:00 pm

Adult Spanish Classes

Virtual
Events for 15th February
No Events
Events for 16th February
9:00 am - 5:00 pm

MARINE PENVERN: Body & Soul: On View

Hudson Hall
11:00 am - 5:00 pm

Surpassing Structure: Mike Childs & James Isherwood

Susan Eley Fine Art Gallery
2:00 pm - 4:00 pm

Infant Toddler Playgroup and Parent Support

Hudson Area Library
3:00 pm - 4:00 pm

Close Readings in a Virtual Space: Farnoosh Fathi

Virtual
Genealogy Basics at the Hudson Area Library
3:00 pm - 4:30 pm

Genealogy Basics

Virtual
4:00 pm - 5:00 pm

Winter Storytime: Movement & Music

Hudson Area Library
5:00 pm - 7:00 pm

MARINE PENVERN: Body & Soul: Opening Night Party

Hudson Hall
7:00 pm - 9:00 pm

2023 Hudson Jazz Festival: The Shape of Jazz Today

Hudson Hall
Events for 17th February
9:00 am - 5:00 pm

MARINE PENVERN: Body & Soul: On View

Hudson Hall
11:00 am - 5:00 pm

Surpassing Structure: Mike Childs & James Isherwood

Susan Eley Fine Art Gallery
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

D’Arcy Simpson Art Works Presents: Elements of a View by Zach Neven

D'Arcy Simpson Artworks
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

Kate Knapp: Recent Work

510 Warren Street
7:00 pm - 9:00 pm

2023 Hudson Jazz Festival: The Shape of Jazz Today

Hudson Hall
7:00 pm - 9:00 pm

Sarah Elizabeth Charles: SEC & SCOPE

Hudson Hall
7:30 pm - 9:30 pm

INVITATION TO A MARCH

The Ghent Playhouse
Events for 18th February
9:00 am - 5:00 pm

MARINE PENVERN: Body & Soul: On View

Hudson Hall
10:00 am - 1:00 pm

Hudson Farmers’ Market Winter-Spring Market

Elk's Lodge
11:00 am - 5:00 pm

Surpassing Structure: Mike Childs & James Isherwood

Susan Eley Fine Art Gallery
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

D’Arcy Simpson Art Works Presents: Elements of a View by Zach Neven

D'Arcy Simpson Artworks
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

Kate Knapp: Recent Work

510 Warren Street
7:00 pm - 9:00 pm

2023 Hudson Jazz Festival: The Shape of Jazz Today

Hudson Hall
7:00 pm - 9:00 pm

Marquis Hill: New Gospel Revisited

Hudson Hall
7:30 pm - 9:30 pm

INVITATION TO A MARCH

The Ghent Playhouse
7:30 pm - 9:00 pm

Dust Bowl Faeries Live at Hudson Milliner

19
20
21
22
23
24
25
Events for 19th February
9:00 am - 5:00 pm

MARINE PENVERN: Body & Soul: On View

Hudson Hall
11:00 am - 5:00 pm

Surpassing Structure: Mike Childs & James Isherwood

Susan Eley Fine Art Gallery
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

D’Arcy Simpson Art Works Presents: Elements of a View by Zach Neven

D'Arcy Simpson Artworks
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

Kate Knapp: Recent Work

510 Warren Street
2:00 pm - 4:00 pm

INVITATION TO A MARCH

The Ghent Playhouse
3:00 pm - 5:00 pm

Michael Mayo

Hudson Hall
3:00 pm - 5:00 pm

2023 Hudson Jazz Festival: The Shape of Jazz Today

Hudson Hall
Events for 20th February
6:00 pm - 7:00 pm

Mens Yoga

Roots Holistic Wellness
6:00 pm - 7:00 pm

Anti-Slavery in Columbia County

Virtual
7:30 pm - 9:30 pm

Game Night at Bar Bene

Bar Bene
Events for 21st February
9:00 am - 5:00 pm

MARINE PENVERN: Body & Soul: On View

Hudson Hall
5:00 pm - 7:00 pm

Adult Spanish Classes

Virtual
Events for 22nd February
9:00 am - 5:00 pm

MARINE PENVERN: Body & Soul: On View

Hudson Hall
5:00 pm - 6:00 pm

Hudson Area Library Book Group

Hudson Area Library
Events for 23rd February
9:00 am - 5:00 pm

MARINE PENVERN: Body & Soul: On View

Hudson Hall
4:00 pm - 5:00 pm

Winter Storytime: Movement & Music

Hudson Area Library
7:00 pm - 9:00 pm

2023 Hudson Jazz Festival: The Shape of Jazz Today

Hudson Hall
Events for 24th February
9:00 am - 5:00 pm

MARINE PENVERN: Body & Soul: On View

Hudson Hall
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

D’Arcy Simpson Art Works Presents: Elements of a View by Zach Neven

D'Arcy Simpson Artworks
7:00 pm - 9:00 pm

2023 Hudson Jazz Festival: The Shape of Jazz Today

Hudson Hall
7:30 pm - 10:00 pm

Bard Theater & Performance Program presents Hippolytos

Fisher Center at Bard
Events for 25th February
9:00 am - 5:00 pm

MARINE PENVERN: Body & Soul: On View

Hudson Hall
10:00 am - 1:00 pm

Hudson Farmers’ Market Winter-Spring Market

Elk's Lodge
10:00 am - 2:00 pm

Community Care Clinic: Free Ear Acupuncture

12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

D’Arcy Simpson Art Works Presents: Elements of a View by Zach Neven

D'Arcy Simpson Artworks
2:00 pm - 4:30 pm

Bard Theater & Performance Program presents Hippolytos

Fisher Center at Bard
7:00 pm - 9:00 pm

2023 Hudson Jazz Festival: The Shape of Jazz Today

Hudson Hall
7:30 pm - 10:00 pm

Bard Theater & Performance Program presents Hippolytos

Fisher Center at Bard
7:30 pm - 9:30 pm

1,000 Feet

Bridge Street Theater
26
27
28
1
2
3
4
Events for 26th February
9:00 am - 5:00 pm

MARINE PENVERN: Body & Soul: On View

Hudson Hall
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

D’Arcy Simpson Art Works Presents: Elements of a View by Zach Neven

D'Arcy Simpson Artworks
2:00 pm - 4:30 pm

Bard Theater & Performance Program presents Hippolytos

Fisher Center at Bard
2:00 pm - 4:30 pm

1,000 Feet

Bridge Street Theater
3:00 pm - 5:00 pm

2023 Hudson Jazz Festival: The Shape of Jazz Today

Hudson Hall
Events for 27th February
6:00 pm - 7:00 pm

Mens Yoga

Roots Holistic Wellness
6:00 pm - 7:00 pm

Nonfiction Book Group

Virtual
6:15 pm - 7:15 pm

Virtual Tech Labs

Virtual
6:15 pm - 7:15 pm

Virtual Tech Labs

Virtual
7:30 pm - 9:30 pm

Game Night at Bar Bene

Bar Bene
Events for 28th February
9:00 am - 5:00 pm

MARINE PENVERN: Body & Soul: On View

Hudson Hall
5:00 pm - 7:00 pm

Adult Spanish Classes

Virtual
Events for 1st March
9:00 am - 5:00 pm

MARINE PENVERN: Body & Soul: On View

Hudson Hall
Events for 2nd March
9:00 am - 5:00 pm

MARINE PENVERN: Body & Soul: On View

Hudson Hall
3:00 pm - 4:00 pm

Close Readings in a Virtual Space: Lesle Lewis

Virtual
Events for 3rd March
9:00 am - 5:00 pm

MARINE PENVERN: Body & Soul: On View

Hudson Hall
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

D’Arcy Simpson Art Works Presents: Elements of a View by Zach Neven

D'Arcy Simpson Artworks
Events for 4th March
9:00 am - 5:00 pm

MARINE PENVERN: Body & Soul: On View

Hudson Hall
10:00 am - 1:00 pm

Hudson Farmers’ Market Winter-Spring Market

Elk's Lodge
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm

D’Arcy Simpson Art Works Presents: Elements of a View by Zach Neven

D'Arcy Simpson Artworks
12:00 pm

Oakdale Plunge 2023

Oakdale Lake
4:00 pm - 6:00 pm

Meltdown

Hudson Hall
7:00 pm - 9:30 pm

Gilbert & Sullivan’s Iolanthe

Fisher Center at Bard

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Martin Salerno
Hudson Hall
The Hudson Eye
Hudson Wine Merchants
Window on Hudson
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