Tips and Tricks
If you have not yet visited the Columbia County Fair, there is still time. The fair is open until Monday, however, do not wait until the very end. In the Grandstand, there’s another Demolition Derby on Friday. Saturday is the Monster Tractor pull. Monday is the rodeo at 5pm, but after the rodeo, watching the fair close down is a sad-clown evening.
Demo Derby seating
If you want to watch the Demolition Derby from a birds-eye vantage point, you need to be at the bleachers of the Grandstand at least a half-hour before the show, otherwise you may not get a seat. Seat-saving is a thing and people are serious about it.
However, if you are going for the pure spectacle of the Demolition Derby and you are not too concerned about watching a certain class of auto slowly destroyed, then wait an hour after the first round. After an hour, people start leaving and seats become available. I watched the second round. Soccer-Mom minivans plowing into each other was equally entertaining, at least for me.
God Bless Thick Chicks
If you arrive at the Demo Derby early, buy a pepperoni heel first and as you wait in the bleachers, spend your time people-watching. My favorite T-shirt saying this year (so far) was “God Bless Thick Chicks”. She wins for her combination of pride and unconventional fortitude. My guess, the woman wearing the T-shirt is not a hipster, because “God Bless Thick Chicks” is too outré for hipsters. She is probably not scrolling through instagram looking for gluten and dairy-free recipes and coffee places with oat milk.
You love your dog, and sneak them table food, but will you eat Buffalo Chicken Ranch Fries out of a dog bowl?
Will your dog mind or will they fight you for it?
Coordinate your shows
If you want to watch the pig races, then schedule accordingly. Do not miss the circus act if you’re across the fairgrounds waiting on line for a corn dog or a mozzarella stick. The Circus Incredible was incredible even the bad Dad jokes, while he’s balancing on a metal sphere in the air.
Mexican street-corn pizza
Do not eat the first thing you see
In anticipation for fair food, maybe you had a light lunch or skipped lunch altogether. If you go to the fair hungry, then it’s harder to resist temptation and you end up eating from the first food booth you see. Try to walk around and find out what is available and where (for instance, Taste of India moved).
If you want to go on any spinning rides, you may want to do that before you eat. Then again, this may be too much planning for some people who prefer to throw caution to the wind and randomly integrate their fair food and ride experiences (which may cause you to throw up in the wind).
Some people prefer to live life on the edge and I applaud you.
Appreciate
You have your heart set on an antique Chippendale armoire at the gallery auction, but did you consider pairing it with an albino wolf tapestry? You never know – it’s a conversation starter! Some may scoff at the retail items at the fair, but many vendors are there every year, and they would not be there if they did not make money. They know their market.
Trixie, I cannot make it to the Fair this year. Whatever shall I do?
Fear not. Even though the Columbia County Fair is my favorite fair (in full disclosure, I am a cookie judge), you can go next year, or even better, follow the fair(s)! County fairs are purposefully staggered so vendors can attend multiple events. After the Columbia County Fair, there’s the Big E in nearby West Springfield, Mass. The Big E represents all things New England. Each New England state has their own pavilion. The Big E starts September 12th.
The Renaissance Faire in Tuxedo, New York started August 16th and runs through October 5th. Get your bodice ready! Gnaw on a turkey leg while watching a jousting match – live a little! Experience all the fun of the Middle Ages without the Black Death. The Renaissance Faire is Dungeons and Dragons geeks meets theater kids. At The Renaissance Faire, the audience is the best part of the show.
The Garlic Festival in Saugerties is September 27th and 28th – put it on your calendar! The garlic festival is not a first date experience. You have to be really comfortable with whomever you bring to the garlic festival. You will be burping up garlic on the car ride home together, so, be warned.
This is upstate living and you cannot miss out.
