TheKinderhooker, the anonymous meme account, has dropped out of the Village of Kinderhook Mayoral race. TrixiesList.com is on it, with Part 2 of our interview.
TrixiesList.com: So, now, you’re NOT running for Mayor? Why?
TheKinderhooker: Hello comrade. Greetings from the totalitarian political state of Kinderhook, where we do backroom deals to decide who wins elections and meme accounts are not taken seriously and are dehumanized by the Board of Election.
In the Times Union article Democratic Elections Commissioner Ken Dow said he would throw out votes for me noting, “You have to write in a human being.” Mr. Dow – meme accounts are run by human beings! If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge meme?
I was left with a choice: unmask and run under my legal name, winning in a landslide and transforming the town into a tolerant utopia or keep my anonymous meme account going. Somehow I suspect the memes will be more impactful.
TheKinderhooker: Entirely that. I myself run a food truck from my AirbBnB so I am a bit nervous with everyone that’s running.
My main takeaways from that article is that Barry was asked why he pulled a gun on a peaceful protest and was like “Because they disrespected people I like!” so that’s a great precedent for village council meetings. Also Mike’s big accomplishment is that in two years in office he has paved three of our roads.
TrixiesList.com: According to the Times Union article, “four [BLM] marchers then walked a few feet into his [Barry Knight’s] driveway, calling him “racist names”. ” The BLM marchers were calling him racist names? Like what?
TheKinderhooker: I am guessing they called him Barry.
TrixiesList.com: Do people worry that Kinderhook will become “like Hudson”?
TheKinderhooker: This question inspired the following meme:
TrixiesList.com: How long is the mayoral term? How much damage could someone do between now and then?
TheKinderhooker: Four years! I mean, that’s a third of MY lifetime already.
The irony here is that the answer about damage is…not much. The things the mayor is responsible for are not overwhelmingly influential. But “the kid” – our 19 year old Quinn Murphy – is like “I could update the village website from its 90s design and add in a message board so citizens and officials can communicate with each other” and that’s the sort of small town thing that actually COULD make a world of difference.
It’s a shame people aren’t giving Quinn enough attention. He’s the only Democrat running, plus his age is not a bad thing in my mind – he’s surrounding himself with smart mentors and is running on the “well I should probably listen to the people living here” platform.
I haven’t endorsed anyone yet but I have my eye on him.
TrixiesList.com: Do you not want a cannabis dispensary?
TheKinderhooker: I’m a meme account, Trixie. Of course I want a dispensary. I want to run it from my food truck AirBnB.
TrixiesList.com: Look at Hillsdale – they have their act together politically! You know why? Gays and lesbians. Ten years ago, I started the first pride parade in Hudson – now look – Hudson is ANTIQUE GAY CITY! What we don’t have in Hudson is one good bagel baker. Kinderhook has TWO bagel places – and you fight over it! Quelle horreur! Maybe we can work out some sort of a trade?
TheKinderhooker: I guess the real issue facing Kinderhook is not enough antique shops. In any case, I’ll do you one better: you can have Broadstreet Bagels (who is backing the gun guy btw) and you send us people who are not grumpy cis hetero white folk.
TrixiesList.com: What is your ideal vision of Kinderhook?
TheKinderhooker: I would like to watch it from behind.
OH! Vision. I thought you asked how I’d like to view it.
We have some work to do bridging the neighborly gap between long-time locals and recent transplants. I’d love for whoever takes on the mayoral seat to begin hosting informal quarterly gatherings that bring neighbors together to get to know each other and talk about what THEIR vision for Kinderhook may be.
In fact, if whoever wins wants to make me volunteer Deputy Mayor in charge of just those gatherings I’d do it for sure.
TrixiesList.com: Are you planning to de-cloak and run in four years?
TheKinderhooker: Maaaybbbeee. Let’s see if people are sick of memes about old houses, Niverville, bagels, and local businesses by then. I mean, with this weird mofo place I probably have a couple election cycles worth of material.